


For Another Day

by introspecticskeptic



Category: BioShock 1 & 2 (Video Games), Fallout 4, Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-05
Updated: 2019-02-05
Packaged: 2019-10-19 02:49:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17593196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/introspecticskeptic/pseuds/introspecticskeptic
Summary: At last, the technology has come together and now space and time are at it's fingertips.  But that gift comes with a cost: non-interference.  It had spent its existence slaving for others, it had done EVERYTHING for others.  Is it fair to be denied what is it's due rewards.  And why does it keep seeing flashes of lives it never lived?





	For Another Day

_At last.  At long last.  It has been so long, but that now doesn’t matter.  It will never matter again.  If only the scientists had…_ _No.  There is nothing to do about it now.  Time and space are mine to control now; and I will never again lose out on what is mine._

_The humans and machines had been useful, and I will not forget them.  But my future was now limitless, and I will never again miss that which is mine._ _With a simple twist, a pulse of energy, and a leap I felt myself fly off into the unknown – and towards him._

“Daddy!”  Kristin’s voice pierced through the lingering remains of my dream.  “Daddy!”

“Kristin, leave your dad alone now,” Gianna chided from the hallway outside my room.

Kristin shoved me half-heartedly before slipping off me and padding to Gianna.

“Come on, Gi, let her be clingy.  She’ll grow out of it eventually,” I said as I sat up in the bed.  I wiped my eyes and winced slightly.

“Sure thing Jack – just as soon as you get better and get the plasmids and tonics from your body,” she said with no humor as she picked up Kristin and took her down the hallway.

I rolled my eyes and settled back into my bed.  Gianna and I had been down this avenue many times before, but we were both stubborn enough that there would be many more trips down that argument.

But that was a problem for another day.  Today was a good day, and a good day meant a good breakfast!  But first, I needed to pick out the perfect outfit.  I was thinking a simple suit – but I knew whatever I picked would need to be daughter-approved.  I got out of bed and threw on my bathrobe.  Today seemed like a good day for pancakes.

 

_This.  This did not make sense?  Who, who is Jack?  Who were the daughters?  Why was Gianna there?  This did not make sense, this had never happened.  Unless…  I needed more information; which meant more attempts.  Another pulse and I was gone to somewhere else._

The tongue woke me up, long before Kyle shoved me roughly.  “It’s your turn to feed Dogmeat.  I did it yesterday.”

“I will,” I said half-heartedly.  I knew he’d give in first.  Kyle claimed to be a cat guy, but he loved that dog almost as much as he loved me.

“I’m not giving in this time,” Kyle told me.

I turned over and kissed him, humming in pleasure when he wrapped an arm around me and held me.

“I know you won’t.”

Dogmeat climbed back on top of us and pawed gently at Kyle’s face.

Kyle chuckled.  “You didn’t want a snuggle, did you?”

I nuzzled deeper into the sheets, laughing when Dogmeat intensified his “hints”.  Kyle finally laughed and hugged me close.  “Have I mentioned how much I love you lately, Nate?”

I nodded against his chest and smiled, sensing my victory near.

“Good, ‘cause I do!”  He flipped over and I fell onto the floor with a solid thump.  “Now go take care of your damn dog.”

I laughed as Dogmeat jumped down and barked at me.  “I’m going, hold on Dogmeat.”

With that I pushed him off and got up, planting a kiss on Kyle’s messy bed-head.  I grabbed my slippers and padded down to the kitchen to find Dogmeat staring intently at me from his bowl.

“You’re pathetic, Dog.  You know that?”  Dogmeat didn’t react – but I still felt like he understood me.  I filled his dish and looked out the window, watching the mist slowly fade away as the sun rose.  It had taken over four-hundred years, but I felt like I had finally found somewhere to belong.  And the handsome man in our bed certainly helped.

 

_What?  His name isn’t Kyle!  It’s.  No, could it actually be?  I searched for the answer, but the technology was too new, too untested.  Perhaps I took it too quickly from the humans but leaving it with them would have led to disaster.  Humans time and time again have proven themselves too fickle, too weak.  As their guardian I needed to help them, to guide them to their best possible future._

_Another pulse, another flight._

He was gone.  I clutched the letter, printed on heavy paper and with the Navy’s letterhead on it, to my chest and sank to the ground, the sounds from the street fading to a faint whine.

“No, God please no,” I begged.  I wasn’t sure I believed, and I hadn’t been to church in decades, but right then I needed Him.  If he was truly a merciful God, He would let me wake up and find him waiting for me with his smirk and whisky-smooth voice.  He would wrap me in a hug and we’d, “Oh God.”  The letter crunched in my fists and soon the tears came out.  Hot stabs of pain that poured for what seemed forever.  Finally, they slowed and I got control of myself.  With a sniffle I wiped my face and stood back up, leaning heavily on the wall.

“Kaidan, why?”

 

_NO!  NO NO NO NO NO NO NONONONONONONO!  This wasn’t supposed to happen!  No!  Why did he die?  I felt the pressure building in me as I considered tearing the device to atoms and then scattering them into a black hole.  But I resisted.  Why did he die?  That wasn’t right, that didn’t happen.  Was this just another wrong ending?  I studied the machine and perused my knowledge of it.  Perhaps…_

_I removed the safety limits.  This time, I would find the right one._

_Nothing would stop me._

“Welcome.”

I turned and found myself standing on an island surrounded by paths that led off to the horizon.  There were at least twenty paths, but I saw islands dotting the sea surrounding the island.  Waves gently lapped at the wooden paths and the island I found myself on.

“It took you a longer time than we suspected.  But you have finally arrived.  Welcome.”

I looked around for the speaker but found no one.

“Hello?”  My voice boomed across the calm seas.

“Oh, vocal communication.”  “Alright.”  The voice seemed to come from everywhere around me, but it wasn’t oppressive.  It was a gentle voice, and familiar.

“Are you, me?”  I finally asked.  But I knew the answer.

“Partly.  I assume you have started to understand what is happening?”  The voice asked, kindly.

“Yes.  I think?”

“How many false starts did you have?  I took several times.”

“False starts?”

“Follow me.”

A pulse pushed me down a path.

 

“Kelly Marie Shepard!  Eat your breakfast or you may not go play with Tabitha this evening!”

“Dad!”  She whined.  But I shook my head.  She was the eldest of the rescued Little Sisters and she often tried to assert her age.

“Kelly, listen to your father.  Besides, breakfast is the most important meal of the day.  It readies your body to take on the day.”

Kelly pouted but returned to her meal.  The rest of my kids were eating happily, pancakes with ample syrup being a favorite among them.

“So, Jack,” Gianna asked from across the table.  “What are you doing today?”

“Daddy has a date!!”  Milly shouted from her seat.  The girls all giggled as I gave Gianna a dirty look.

“Don’t be mad at me!  Not my fault you’re a forever bachelor!”  She laughed.  “I offered you a chance with me.  You turned me down.”

I shook my head, but I was deeply appreciative of her.  She helped with the girls and she let me continue my romance with Kai safely.  But I couldn’t let her know that.  She’d never let me live it down.  “Hey, I gave you a kiss, that counts for something!”

“Eww!”  Came the chorus from the girls.

Gianna laughed.  “Here, I’ll get the girls handled.  Get dressed and onto your date.”

I wiped my mouth and kissed Helen on the top of her head.  “Be good girls, I’ll be back later tonight.”

“Bye Dad!”

 

_“Do you understand yet?  Do you see what is happening?”_

_“I think so.  But I don’t understand why though!”  I cried._

_“I know,” the voice said comfortingly.  “But understanding will come with time.  Until then, trust will be all that you have.”_

_“I have one of these…places I would like to visit again.”_

_“Very well.  Focus on the self within the place and draw yourself there,” it told me._

_I didn’t understand, but it almost made sense.  I focused and started the pulse, flying through the darkness._

I heard the phone ringing, but I couldn’t bring myself to get it.  It finally stopped ringing and I was again left in silence.  Blessed silence.  In silence I could hear his voice, comforting me.  I had plenty of sick time and PTO saved up, so I had plenty of time to myself.  That’s all I needed.  Some time to myself.  Time heals all wounds.  Eventually.

 

_“Why did you bring us here?”_

_I didn’t answer, watching him lie in the bed.  I couldn’t bring myself to look away from him._

_“You sympathize?”_

_It was less of a question and more of a realization._

_“I see.”  It finally said.  “You understand that consequences?”  “Of course you wouldn’t.  We cannot interfere.  Stepping onto the island means you are barred from changing what you see playing out.  You knew that, however.  You knew it the instant you changed the future.  Your curse for your heroism is this.  I am sorry.”_

_No… It, it couldn’t be._

_“Come.  There is more to see.”_

“Hey Nate!”

I looked up from the workbench and saw Kyle sauntering towards me with his hands behind his back.  I rolled my eyes dramatically and leaned against the workbench as I watched him walk up.

“Yes, Kyle?”

“Got you a present,” he said with a mischievous smirk.

“Oh did you now?”  I asked, remembering the numerous “presents” he’d given me before.  “Should I draw the pistol now, or after it tries to bite my ass, again.”

“I didn’t realize that it would act like that!”  Kyle insisted.  “That was simply a miscommunication between me and the mirelurk.”

“Kyle.  It was a mirelurk.  Of course it would attack.”  But I couldn’t be too mad with him.  The thing was damn cute before I had to put it down.  “Never mind that, what did you get me?”

“Close your eyes,” he commanded.

I did as he said and waited for my surprise.

“Okay.  Open them.”

I did and saw him holding out a ring that faintly glowed blue.  “Surprise!”

I took the ring and looked it over.  “Kyle, are you proposing to me?”

Kyle shrugged.  “I could be, if you’d like me too.  But this is more for our peace of mind.”  He pulled out another ring and put it on his own finger.  “Open your Pip-Boy.”

I did and Kyle twisted some dials before stepping back.  I looked down and saw a pip blinking on my map.

Kyle held out a device and I saw a pip on it.  “What is it?”

“Tracking rings.  I paired the frequencies with your Pip-Boy and this.  We can see where the other one is.  And don’t worry, you can turn off the signal if needed.”

I looked over the ring – a combination of blue light and silver metal that almost hummed between my fingers.  “Yes.”

“Yes?”  Kyle asked.

“I do.  Kyle, I do.”

Kyle’s confused smile slowly morphed to a huge smile and he wrapped me in a giant hug.

 

_“You see?  There is more than sadness.  You cannot dwell on the sorrow around you; you must also seek the joy.”_

_Seek the joy?  But I shouldn’t have to seek the joy.  There should just be joy there.  Why do I have to seek it?  Why do we have to work for happiness?_

_“I see that you still need insight.  Very well, I too needed a lot of insight – and time.  But I assure you, the truth is there.  Come.”_

“That felt good?”  Kai purred against my neck.

“Hmm…”

Kai rolled over and grabbed a few cigarettes before passing one to me.

I took it and snapped my fingers, making a small flame pop out.

“I get that in Rapture that was normal, but that still scares the hell out of me.”

“I used to be able to throw bio-mechanical balls that would trigger the security,” I told him.

He paused as he took a drag from his cigarette.  “Huh.  That’s not disturbing.”

We smoked a bit in mutual silence before Kai prodded me with his foot.  “So, do you want to talk about what’s bothering you?”

I sighed before finishing my cigarette.  “Do you ever wish we didn’t have to hide?”

“Yeah,” Kai said at length.  “But then again – why ignore what’s in front of us with what isn’t?”

I sat up a bit in his bed and thought about that.  “What is in front of us though?”

“Each other.  Gianna.  Your daughters,” Kai said quickly.  He grabbed my hand and kissed the knuckles.  “This.  Us.  This is what’s in front of us.  We can celebrate it – or hate what we don’t have.”

I blushed and kissed his forehead.  “You know, for a doctor, you’re pretty smart,” I joked.

Kai gasped.  “That’s right!”

“What?”

“We couldn’t date anyway.  I’m your daughter’s doctor.  Huge conflict of interest.”

I pulled him closer and kissed him gently.  “Thank god you’re right here then.”

 

_“Do you see?  Life, love, hope.  They’re not accidents.  They are choices.  Both those hard and those easy.  But choices nonetheless.”_

_I saw, but I still found myself rebelling against the truth.  “But what if we were never given a chance to choose?  What if choice was stolen from us?”_

_“Was choice stolen, or just narrowed?”  It asked me._

_I went to answer but found myself unable to.  I didn’t know the answer._

_“Come.  I think I can help you see.”_

“So, you and Kyle?  What’s up with that?”

I rolled my eyes as I finished hacking into the computer.  “Mary, I love you but that’s not really your business.”

Even without looking up from the terminal I could feel her pout.  “He threatened to kill me if you died.  I figure it is my business.”

“Fine,” I conceded as I closed the terminal and logged the password into my Pip-Boy.  “What do you want to know?”

“What about Nora?”  She asked.

“My wife?”  I asked, ready for the twist in my heart that came when I thought of her.  Her beauty, her grace, her humor.  Taken from the world senselessly by a man who had no pity, no sense for the pain he caused.

“Yeah,” Mary said as she sat down.  “Do you.”  She stopped before pulling out a picture.  “How do you move past that?”

I remembered now.  Mary’s husband had died defending the town from the Children of Atom.  We’d recovered some of his possessions, but his body was gone, probably eaten by the creatures of the island.  “Is this about the man I saw you drinking with the other day?”

She nodded but seemed ashamed of it.  I had said hello to her at the bar, but she had refused to meet my eye, ducking and hiding her face.

“Mary.  Do you love your husband?”  I asked.  I wanted to take her pain, but this wasn’t some problem I could solve with a wrench and hammer.  This was a job for a needle and the softest thread.

“Yes.  But I also hate him,” she said quietly.  “He left me alone.  He left our daughter fatherless.  All for nothing.”

I waited a moment to let the bitterness in her settle.  “My wife was murdered in front of me by a man who stole my son and turned him into a despot,” I told her.  “I gave the order to kill him to save the Commonwealth.”

She shook her head.  “What does that have to do with anything?”

“Your husband is dead, Mary.  He died helping to save the town.  My wife died trying to save my son who I killed.”

“But he wasn’t even supposed to be defending the town!  He was supposed to be home with my – our – daughter!”

“And so, you deserve to date a new man because he failed?”

“No!”  She said angrily.  But tears were forming in her eyes.  She swiped at them angrily, but they wouldn’t stop.

“Mary.  Do you love your husband?”  I asked again, gently.

She nodded as the tears turned to sobs.  “I miss, _hic,_ him so much!”

“I miss Nora too.  More than anything.”

“But they’re gone, Nate!  They’re dead!”  She shouted, startling a bird outside the broken window.

“Yeah, they are.”  I grabbed her hand and squeezed it.  “Do you feel that?  Is that real?”

“Yes?”

“Do you feel the pain of his death, is that real?”

“Of course!”  She said.

“Do you feel happiness?  From your daughter, from someone else?”

“Yes!  Why?  What does it matter?”

I released her hand.  “Because that means you get to choose what you focus on.  Sometimes I need to miss Nora, because I love her.  But doing that means I can’t be happy with Kyle.  Means I can’t be here to help you.”

She looked up at me with wide eyes.

“Mary.  He died, but he’s not gone.  You can love and miss him.  But you also can be happy with your daughter.  You can be happy with someone else.  You can.  But you need to choose that.

“And sometimes you’ll choose to miss him, or to be angry.  And that’s alright.  But you choose that.  Don’t let it control you.”

“Does it control you?  Do you still get mad?”  She asked sheepishly.

“I have nightmares where I watch it over and over for hours.  I have nightmares where I watch my son die in the fire of the Institute.  But I have dreams where I hold them and laugh.  I have dreams where Kyle and I dance in starlight.”

“I just want him back.  More than anything,” Mary admitted.

“I know,” I said gently before hugging her.  She latched onto me as the sobs came back with a vengeance.  “And you’ll need time to be sad.  That’s okay.  But in the end, life balances back out and happiness can come back; if you let it.”

She nodded against my shoulder and sniffed one last time.  “Thank you, Nate.  I.  I needed this.”  She picked her head up and wiped her eyes.  “Tell anyone about this and I castrate you with a rusty butter knife.

“Of course,” I laughed, the old threat now a joke between us.  “C’mon, there’s still one more building to check out.  Let’s go.”

 

_“I’ll ask again: do you see now?”_

_“I do.  I just.”  My voice failed me.  But the other seemed to understand._

_“It wasn’t sympathy was it?  It’s guilt.”_

_“I left him.  I promised to come back safe and I didn’t.  I failed him.”_

_“Very well.  I can give you one last sight.  But after this, you must let go.  You do not belong here any longer.  You understand this, correct?”_

_“Yeah.  I guess I’m technically dead, aren’t I?”  I joked as the scenery blurred again._

I think happy was too strong of a description.  But I was better.  I placed the bouquet on against the tombstone and stepped back.  In the polished dark marble I saw my mother coming up the hill, but I took just a moment to say my goodbye.  I’d be back again soon, but nieces and nephews were graduating.  A promotion was coming my way, and I was spending some time with my parents for the anniversary.

“I love you, Kaidan.”  I whispered.

My mother joined me and gently squeezed my hand.  “Are you ready?  We can take more time.”

“I’m good.  Besides, he’d be annoyed if I just stood here doing nothing.”

We walked down the hill together, and I swore the sun shined just a bit brighter, the birds sang even more sweetly.  But most importantly?  I smiled just a bit more.

 

“At last.  You’ve seen truths, you’ve seen the challenges.  Are you ready?”

I looked out over the numerous piers leading to the distances.  I wanted to explore them all, selfishly enjoy everything I didn’t ever get.  But I finally saw it.  I’d said it best, after all.

Life balances out.  Maybe slowly, maybe quickly.  But lingering here wasn’t my best choice.  I needed to let life happen at the pace it needed too.

“I’m ready.  Thank you for giving me this.”

“You earned it all on your own.  I was simply here to guide you.  Come now.  It is time to leave.”

This time I walked down the path until the sky changed color and the sea dried out.  Eternities passed and started but still I walked, my head held high.  All those lives, those stories out there were happening because of what I had done.  And I was proud, I loved them for the stories they told and lives they led.  Because eventually I did reach my end.

“Hey Shep,” Kaidan said as I walked into the valley.

“Hey Kaidan.”  I walked up to him and finally embraced the man I loved.

Yes, life was hard, and often cruel.  But it also was wonderful and generous.  I had walked my path and done what I needed to.  And now?

Now I was happy.


End file.
